The individual who will have the greatest influence on your child’s emotional development- the ones who are most likely to determine how happy she will be, how she feels about herself, how well she copes with problems- are those who child care authorities call the “primary care givers”. Naturally, you will want to know as much as possible about these people. You may feel you know all about them already, since one of them is you and the other is probably your spouse. But you should get acquainted with yourself a new, in your role as a parent, because becoming a parent changes you. If parenthood enriches your life, it also makes it more complex, evoking in you a confusing array of desires and expectations, fears and convictions.
Some of these personal attributes- a belief that children should mind their elders, for instance- a parent may know well. Others, such as a deep seated fear of losing personal freedom, have a way of remaining hidden from view until some even inadvertently summons them fort. Then the pop out unexpectedly, affection what ever the parent is doing or saying. When this happens, it can come as a big and often unwelcome surprise. They include beliefs your own parents passed on to you, other attitudes you embrace mainly because your parents rejected them, expectations instilled by the culture in which you live the opinions of friends, secret worries and fears that most new parents have but do not talk about, your individual temperament and, not least, the personality of the child whose arrival turned you into a parent in the first place