Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Parental anger

  In fact, this last point is a source of much worry, because parents sometimes find themselves pushed into such rages by their youngster’s behavior that they feel the urge to strike the child. Occasional impulses of this kind are natural and of no great consequence, as long as they do not become persistent- and as long as they are not actually carried out. Because young children look to their parents for safety and security, the sight of a mother or father becoming utterly unstrung and threatening to harm them can be very frightening.

  The important rule to follow, therefore, is always to maintain control of yourself- both verbally and physically- in front of your child. Treat your violent reactions as a problem that is quiet different and separate from your little one’s behavior, and make sure to tackle the anger first, before you approach the child. The technique that worked best for many parents is simply leaving the room for the moment and focusing on a cooling down device, whether it is phoning a friend, splashing cold water on the face and wrists, or taking a brisk walk around the house.  Or you may find that punching a pillow will help you release tension harmlessly. Once you have a hold on your feelings, you can return and deal more rationally with the events that set them off in the first place.