Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What has the baby done now?’ Though the child’s feelings may disturb you at times, it is important that she feel free to express them without fear of admonishment or punishment. Otherwise, she will learn to feel guilty about her emotions and will probably stop sharing them with you.
If children are great talkers, they are also great listeners, and you should be careful not to make offhand comments that convey negative messages to your youngster about herself. A child who overhears her mother tell a neighbor that she is shy with strangers or a fussy eater can interpret such negative descriptions as permanent conditions that she is powerless to overcome. And a particularly sensitive child may even take joking nickname such as “klutz” or “fatty’ to heart and start playing the part in earnest.
To encourage positive, self confident behavior on the part of your child you must, first of all, let her know you feel positive and confident that she is capable of succeeding. In the beginning, as new challenges present themselves, she will want to do well to please you. But in time as your love nurtures her love and self esteem, your child will be flying free- striving to please her. This momentum, established through your thousands of every words and deeds during the early years, will carry her forward all the days of her life.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Youngsters need to learn early that every new effort carriers some risk of failure. Help your child to understand that disappointments and frustrations happen to everyone, children and grownups alike, and are nothing to be ashamed of, let her know that making an honest effort to perform a task is in itself grounds for feeling proud, and express your confidence that she will succeed on the next try, or perhaps the time after that. Show her ways to approach a challenge if she is having trouble on her own. For example, if your daughter returns with her toothbrush when you have asked her to bring her brush and comb, you could say:”Thank you for going to look. Let’s go together, not and find that brush and comb.” In this way you focus on the process and the correct result, rather than on her performance and the mistake.
Decision making is another critical skill your youngster needs guidance in. To a young child, making choices can seem to be a life or death matter. Help demystify the process by giving your youngster opportunities to make simple choices in inconsequential matters. For example, you can invite your four year old to choose between two sweaters when you are shopping, or let her decide where to put the balloons for her sister’s birthday party. Encourage her to think out loud about her reasons, so that she sees herself as a person who uses her head.