Times of Special Stress

All parents want their children to be happy and carefree, protected from the world’s hurts and disappointments. But events sometimes turn the lives of children topsy-turvy in ways that leave them, baffled, uneasy, perhaps deeply troubled. These disturbances, as discussed on the following pages, may rang from such seemingly innocuous situations as moving to a new house to serious occurrences like divorce or the death of someone the child loves. Children are hit particularly hard by such events because they involve loss and change, two experiences that threaten the security youngsters derive from stable and routine living patterns. Another factor disturbing to the child is lack of control over what is happening. It is the parents, not the child, who decide whether to move, whether to have another baby, whether to divorce. No one consults the child about these important decisions. She is left feeling helpless in addition to feeling upset. Doubtless the parents, too, are distracted and worried by the same problems at the same time, in some cases coping with emotions even more intense than those the child experiences. Nonetheless, caring parents will try to ease the pain and reduce the damage these crises can inflict. By understanding the emotional effects of such events and showing your child how to deal with them, you will help prepare him for the inevitable future disappointments and tragedies of life. Learning to survive a negative experience will make your child stronger.

The Feelings Revealed in Children’s Art

For 35 years, one of the children’s art specialists has been collecting the art of young children and using it to explore the interior world of childhood feelings. Her collection, sampled on these pages, shows the amazing range of information about a child’s state of mind that the youngster’s art can yield. Painting and drawing come as naturally to young children as speaking. The act if guiding a crayon or paintbrush across paper not only is fun, it is a satisfying means of self-expression as well. Art lets children communicate feelings their limited vocabulary can not convey-hopes and fears, pleasures and anxieties and opinions. But the messages, as in all art, are given in code and may be hard to decipher.

 A picture’s real meaning often lies beyond its subject matter and technique. Young children tend to draw the same things-houses, trees, people, vehicles, animals, the sun and to draw in similar ways. They also typically exaggerate and distort, production bodies with limbs too long or fingers too numerous. Generally, the best guide to a picture’s meaning is the child’s own commentary. The remarks here were prompted by questions from the teachers in whose classes the drawings were made. Significantly, the questions were never as direct as “What are you drawing?” or “Is this a house?” - but rather, “Would you like to tell me something about this painting?” Children who decline such invitations to explain, however, should never be pushed. It is far more important to let a child enjoy the immediate pleasure of creation than to discover what the picture may mean.

Auto Insurance

Some of the features and benefits offered by The Hartford, on auto insurance are Recover Care car insurance benefit where they offer innovative car insurance which is not provided by other auto insurance companies. Lifetime car repair assurance is also offered to users when they opt for one of the 1,600 authorized auto repair shops from their approved list of network and the user is at an advantage of covered repairs on his vehicle. No drop promise is applied to the auto insurance policy holder with an assurance of continued car insurance coverage depending on the fulfilment of driving and meeting their requirements. They provide 24 hours claims support rendered by their claim experts who are available any time for their clients to register their claim. Besides this, new car replacement is provided if the client experiences total loss of a new vehicle within the first 15 months or 15,000 miles after purchase, whichever may occur first, replacement cost of new car with regards to the model, make or equipment is done without any deduction done for the same.

 Auto insurance upgrade, features auto insurance quotes along with Advantage Plus package offering additional benefits to the users namely, first accident forgiveness wherein if the client qualifies for the insurance benefit, when they have an accident, it won’t go against them and the insurance rate will not go higher due to it. Upgrade features also include disappearing deductible, waiver of deductible for `A not at fault accident’, $100 deductible waiver, etc.  which can be viewed in details at the site. Car insurance coverage is often confusing to the clients, and hence they are made easy by outlining all the options which can fit the requirement of every individual. Moreover the coverage guide can also help in calculating the right amount involved in coverage according to every individual requirements. Viewers can request an on line quote which is easy and quick with all the guidance provided by their supportive team on board. Users can get acquainted with useful knowledge from the information displayed for the benefit of their users which can help them in making an appropriate choice in car insurance coverage.

Imaginary Friends

When called to account for being naughty, some children pass the blame on to an imaginary playmate. The existence of such a ‘‘friend’’ may come as a surprise to you, but be assured that it is quite normal for children between the ages of two and five to invent such companions. The child may imagine the playmate as another child, an adult, an animal or even favorite toy or blanket come to life. It is not clear why some children have these friends while others do not. In most causes, the child is aware at some level that the friend is only pretend. Unless your child becomes dependent on an imaginary companion to the exclusion of human relationships, do not worry. If it reaches that point, however, ask your pediatrician for advice.

Children assign many roles to imaginary playmates, and by paying close attention to the reported antics and pronouncements of such as character, you may gain some insight into your child’s state of mind. Sometime the playmate provides an emotional outlet, voicing fears or hostilities for the child. Other playmates do naughty things that rest parental limits, allowing the child to watch mother’s reaction from a safe distance. For the child who is trying to learn self-control, an imaginary playmate may serve as a jiminy cricket-like conscience. And in many cases the character is nothing more than a reliable companion.

For you, however, an imaginary friend may be more of an exercise in patience. Usually the best strategy is to accept your child’s fantasy without encouraging it. Let her know that you realize the friend is make-believe and that you understand the fun of pretending. Punishing your child or ridiculing her fantasy may only encourage her to hide the companion. Imaginary friends are generally developed to fulfill a particular need. When that need is satisfied, the playmate will disappear. Like other expressions of the child’s imagination, a fantasy friend helps her explore new territory along the path to emotional maturity.                   

Tall Tales

During this period, a child’s stories may take on the characteristics of a tall tale. The child will claim to have accomplished an incredible feat - she rode her tricycle a million miles. If challenged, she may indignantly proclaim that it is not just a story, it is true. There is usually no harm in just acknowledging the story and letting it to at that. At times you might gently interject some reality – it may not have been a million miles on the trike, but it was farther than yesterday. This lets her know you understand her tale and that you take it for what it is worth.

Sometimes, however, your child may tell what you consider to be an outright lie. Here again, you will often need to exercise restraint. ‘‘Lie’’ is too wrong a word for the transparent fibs that small child tells. Children generally fib only to protect themselves from punishments and, since the line between fantasy and reality is so easily blurred, your child may actually believe she was not at fault. In dealing with his type of behavior, it is usually more constructive to forgo punishment and instead to talk with the child, emphasizing your appreciation for honesty. In this way you will teach her that she has little to fear in taking responsibility for her actions.

Story telling skills

Like other forms of fantasy, children’s stories reflect their experiences, fears, emotions and desires. Your tow or three year old may attempt to tell a story using phrases and short sentences, but he can only sustain it with much questioning and prompting from you.

By the age of four, your child will pick up conventional storytelling devices such as “Once upon a time and “the end,” and he may become more fluent in telling a tale. This age is the imaginative peak for children’s stories. The action is seldom bound by reality, and the story settings may be wildly exotic. You can encourage storytelling by reading to your child regularly. New characters, situations and locations from books become fuel for his own stories.

While the plots of young children’s tales often involve eating, sleeping and the appearance of a kindly figure, violence is far and away the predominant theme. You are likely to hear a great deal about struggles with monsters, children getting spanked, stolen food death, killing and crashing. Although such stories may make you rather uncomfortable, remember that they are usually a child’s way of dealing with fears or feelings of aggression. And they give you a perfect opportunity to talk through such concerns with your youngster as the two of you discuss the gorier details of the story line.

A child’s humor

Pretend play also helps in less serious matters. By finding humor in play, a child releases tension and reclaims that elusive sense of personal power. Your child probably loves to catch you making a silly mistake. For a moment, she can feel smarter than you. In the same vein, a child delights in mimicking your authoritative voice and manner. Even just acting silly herself – making mistakes on purpose, falling down or pretending to be clumsy – can allow the child to feel more in control.

Two other subjects that many children like to laugh about are sexual differences and bathroom matters. This kind of humor may drive you to distraction, but it seems to help relieve a child’s anxieties about these issues. In egging each other on to yet another toilet joke, children fin a sense of camaraderie among peers sharing the same uncertain feelings. And by finding amusement in a subject that began as a worry, the child learns a lesson in optimism.