You can remove sources of frustration and help your child act independently by creating a physical environment that meets his needs. A small step stool makes it possible for him to get to the sink to wash his hands. Dressing is made easier if you choose simple clothing, such as trousers with elastic waists. Each time that he successfully does something new, his self confidence increases.
Let him make harmless mistakes. If he puts his T-shirt on backward, resist the temptation to correct it. By allowing the shirt to remain reversed, you avert a possible fight and, more importantly, provide him with a sense of accomplishment.
With all this insistence on independence, you may be surprised when your stubborn child suddenly changes his tune and insists, “You do it”. Whether young children have managed a new challenge or met with failure, they often then want to retreat for a while until they feel more comfortable. Because the wish for dependency remains strong, even the four year old who has mastered dressing himself may occasionally ask you for help.
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